the Safe Route or the Scary Route: which one are you on?
I stared down at the blank page before me, unsure what to write. I was perched on “my bench” in the park down the street from my house on this bright early winter’s day. After a pause, I started hand lettering a few motivational phrases I’d been reciting to myself lately: Everything is Figureoutable (Marie Forleo) and I Can Do Hard Things (Glennon Doyle). I wanted those words fresh in my mind. After all, this was no ordinary sunny day on the park bench. I was awaiting The Call. If I got The Call, I’d no longer have a job.
I didn’t know for sure The Call was coming. Honestly though, I suspected it. Part of me even wanted it to happen. I know that sounds totally crazy. But I’ll explain.
I’ve known for years that design wouldn’t be my one, singular career. I had ambitions to be my own boss, forge my own creative path, and create a lifestyle that allows me to work whenever, wherever, and on whatever I want. But I’m always captivated by that deceptively beautiful path called The Safe Route. On The Safe Route, I am comfortable, I feel safe, even if it’s only an illusion. The Safe Route contains nice experiences, even some valuable lessons -- I grow, but never quite as much as I would on The Scary Route. The Scary Route contains what I really want to do; but the path to doing that is lined with fear, hard things, uncertainty, and forces me to confront my Inner Critic. Should I start my own business now? No, no, too risky now -- I need to save more money, get further in my design career, and plus, I have NO idea what I’m even doing! So goes the dialogue in my mind, led by my dear friend, Inner Critic.
the Safe Route contains nice experiences, even some valuable lessons — I grow, but never quite as much as I would on The Scary Route.
If I’m being totally honest, even before the day I awaited The Call, I knew I was on The Safe Route. I also knew I wasn’t supposed to be there for much longer. On the very last day of 2019, I declared 2020 the year I would finally pursue my long-held creative dreams. I had no idea just how that would come to pass.
I’d put the finishing touches onto I Can Do Hard Things in my journal, when all of a sudden, in my jacket pocket, my phone rang. My heart cartwheeled inside my chest and I knew. The Call.
If you’ve ever been told that you’re losing your job, it’s a terrible, sinking feeling. The people delivering this kind of news do the best they can, but it’s hard for everyone. Especially when it’s not my fault at all. Thanks to COVID wreaking havoc on the world and casting doubt over the financial future of Cricket Australia, my position as Design Manager no longer exists. I am jobless.
Regardless of whatever suspicion or desire I might’ve had about losing my job, it totally sucked. I felt all the things; sad, then hopeful, then angry, then sad again. And at the same time, the little voice in my soul whispered: now your possibilities, your opportunities, are wide open. Whoa! An exhilarating thought. Also terrifying. But mostly exhilarating. This isn’t how I expected it to go down, but you know what? My desire for 2020 isn’t that far off.
My dream? Living a creatively fulfilled life and seeing you do the same. I want you to do what you love in life; rather than feel like the best part of yourself -- your creative dream, energy, expression, true passion -- remains untapped, unexplored, gathering dust. For me, a creatively fulfilled life looks like getting up every day and doing what lights me up and activates my gifts. I’m an encourager, a helper, a multi-passionate creative, a communicator, a learner, an explorer. I thrive on connection, authenticity, experiences, creativity, travel, and nature. I don’t fully know all of the ways these things intersect yet, but I know I’m finally on the path where I’ll figure it out one day. What I do know is that I’m starting right here, right now, with what I have. I’m coaching women, building my coaching into a business, and pushing myself creatively. Take a minute and ask yourself: what’s your creatively fulfilled life look like?
take a minute and ask yourself: what’s your creatively fulfilled life look like?
Sure doesn’t seem like a great time to take a risk like starting a business. The world is in a weird place. I’m in a weird place. Life just feels plain hard and emotionally draining many days. One minute I’m celebrating chasing my dreams; I’m standing on the mountaintop feeling like I can take on the world. The next minute I’m awkwardly fumbling through the day, trying to focus and just do anything; on damage control as my Inner Critic overwhelms me with self-doubt. I’m figuring this out as I go. I play with the edges of my patience, resilience, and comfort level every day, on top of looking after myself in the midst of a global pandemic. Whatever you’re facing -- job loss, sickness, work from home parenting, starting a new venture -- it’s a hard time. Let’s all go easy on ourselves.
So why now? Doesn’t now seem like the best time to take The Safe Route? Sure it does. But I could make excuses for the rest of my life about why now’s not a good time to start on my dreams, and let fear continue to hold me back. And you know what? I’m done with that. Scary Route, here I come. The Scary Route isn’t easy to navigate, the way forward isn’t always clearly marked, and I’ll drive on some dark, dimly lit roads that’ll push my comfort level. I’ll have setbacks and challenges, sure. What heroine’s journey doesn’t? But this is the road I want to be on. On this road I’ll see what I’m really made of; I’ll face my biggest fears, experience my deepest growth, and find my greatest joy. That’s the kind of life I want.
