you can do scary things.
The Fear Excuse
From “I’m too scared” to “I can do scary things.”
Looks like:
Fear of failure
Fear of what others think
Fear of making a wrong decision
Fear of uncertainty
Fear of the unknown
Fearless.
I used to believe this was my word.
I even have this word hand lettered and framed in my house.
“Yeah I’m fearless!” I’d think.
I’d wear fearless like a badge of honour.
To do anything, you got to be fearless, I thought. If I’m afraid, I’m weak.
And then, my life started changing. Dramatically.
I moved from the US to Australia. My 12 year marriage ended. I moved to Melbourne from Brisbane by myself. I had two new jobs within 1 year. A pandemic hit. I lost my job. I started my business.
I can’t look back on any of those experiences and say that I never felt afraid.
I was terrified, the whole time. I made decisions that felt scary, with no certainty or guarantee anything would work out.
But I kept going.
And, confession: social media terrifies me. Putting myself out there is super scary. I’m afraid of what other people might think. I’m afraid that what I say won’t resonate with anyone.
So, I did something that scares me. I recorded my first IGTV video 😱 Head over to Instagram and give it some love:)
I see now — my relationship to fear evolved.
I won’t ever be completely fearless. And that won’t stop me.
Because what I want to create in this world and the people I want to reach are bigger than the fear I feel.
If you’re waiting to be “fearless” before you start anything, you’re going to wait forever. You’ll never start.
Fear tries to protect you. Sometimes that’s nice, when fear keeps you from doing things like running out into a busy street. But other times — fear doesn’t know what’s best for you.
And fear holds you back, luring you into a false sense of safety and comfort. In reality, you’re actually missing out on the big, free, fulfilled life you’re designed to live.
What I know now about fear is this:
Fearless — it’s not a thing.
Fear’s always gonna be around. Acknowledge the presence of fear. When fear’s there, you know you’re about to do something really big and amazing. Why else would fear try to stop you? Doing big and amazing things is scary, uncertain. It’s okay to feel fear.
Fear keeps you from moving forward, if you let it.
I don’t know about you, but I sure give fear a lot more power than it deserves. Once I started doing things that scared me, I started realising that fear wasn’t going to hurt me. The stuff I was so afraid of wasn’t hurting me. The only thing that hurt was allowing the fear to control me.
How you can break down the Fear Excuse:
Give yourself the grace to feel afraid. Feeling afraid is human. Give yourself permission to feel it and acknowledge it.
Tell your fear: “Not today.” You feel the fear, but it’s not going to stop you from moving forward anymore, no! Get sassy and firm with your fear.
Do something that scares you. Not something dangerous (obviously). But an action related to the dream you want to bring into the world that gives you the nervous sweats at the mere thought of it. Start small, baby steps. The more scary things you do, the less control fear has over you.
Repeat this to yourself, over and over, whenever you feel afraid: I can do scary things.
You got this.
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